Oh 45, I love you and your wisdom. You let me stop being so hard on myself, sort of. You let me realize what I love, what I don’t, and above all, how to just step back and stay out of the fray.
I cannot be everyone’s cup of tea, and conversely, everyone is not MY cup of tea.
So, when you wake up, and the soft warmth of your slowly middle aging body is something you have or can learn to love, and when you can say “I have value” and mean it, and when you can simply hit “delete” when someone tries to engage in a manner you prefer not to, you are there. You are in the sweet spot. That cozy, happy zone. If you find it, stay there, it is good.
I no longer agree when someone tells Me I am not enough. You are simply not enough for them. Hug them, thank them, and say good bye. I am free.
As a mother, I try to say “I like you so much!” and “you are one of my favorite people in the world!” to my kids. I want them to know they are enough. They are already all that they need to be. I try to put as many experiences of art and culture in front of them so they can decide who they are. My nightmare is that they will wake up, in their 30’s and think that they need to please everyone, lose 40 pounds, make more money, and feel unfulfilled. Start now little ones, find your light and follow it. I will be here to catch you. Be you, and only you.
I will never be enough for everyone. I will certainly be too much for some, and I will be just right for my tribe. I cannot live in the past, and the future is all I have left.
Just hoe your own row and raise your own babies
Smoke your own smoke and grow your own daisies
Mend your own fences and own your own crazy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy
(Lyrics from Kasey Musgroves “Biscuits” song – see link below for the whole song, it is great!)
“Biscuits” by Kasey Musgrove