I have taken my 2 years.  My pregnancy, the first 18 months of the twins life.  I have gotten in, rolled around, absorbed and loved it.  But it is time for me to put myself back into tip top shape.  Now, I am not talking 28 year old shape (I am 43) but I AM talking about health.  Food, exercise, healthy decisions.  More carrot, less cake.  OR… maybe some carrot cake?  I am only human.

This being said, I am embarking on a year long series of benchmark segments on health on my radio show.  Cooking healthy, great places to eat that are good for you and your family, ideas and things that I learn about being a healthy family and individual, I will pass along to you.  It is also my goal to write about them along the way as a reference to you.  I will talk about recipes for grownups AND kids.  My life changed, and because of it, so will this blog.  I expect in another 5 years I will go an even different direction…. so don’t get too comfortable.  Much like life, this blog changes.  With me.  This blog, after all, is a work of love for my family.

The goal here, as an older parent, is to stay healthy, young and awesome for my kids.  To be able to, to WANT to do all the things they want to do.  Play sports, ride bikes,  and enjoy their childhood.  Do you know what it feels like to have a parent be too tired, or not interested in playing with you?  I hope not, and my children will never know either.

So this is the final piece of my puzzle:  I found my dream man.  I have a career that eclipses anything I ever dreamt for myself, and therefore I keep dreaming bigger.  Now, my children are here, safe and sound, and READY TO ROCK.  The final piece?  Escorting myself and my family into the rest of our lives with health, energy, and lots and LOTS of love.

I read this and it stuck:  “If your dreams don’t scare you, then they are not big enough.”. I hope you all dream so big is scares the CRUD out of you.

On to the next bigger, and better year!  BRING IT 2015!

I am sorry, but I must decline.

I realized, around mid November that I was running.  Not exercise, but running nonstop from one appointment to the next.  I was so overextended and under-appreciating my riches.  What is the point of a pocket full of cash if you did not gently lay your daughter into her crib at night?  What is the point of media success if you haven’t read Brown Bear to your son?  None.  There is no point.

Where do you place value?  Do you place it in financial gain?  Perhaps in physical goals, such as weight loss and maintaining youth?  Do you attend EVERY event you are invited to?  These are questions that I put to myself and it really bothered me when I answered them (silently to myself).  The painful truth was that I am not living  life correctly.  Let me amend that.  I am not living my life correctly for me.

So, I decided to stay home.  Go to work, but other than that,  just be there.  Be with my husband, be with my children.  Not place ANYthing over the small amount of time that I have to see the holidays through their beautiful eyes.  Through eyes that have no worries and are so full of trust.  Allow the beauty a child’s realization of new concepts, words, situations to be my celebrations.  Drive slowly through our neighborhood looking at holiday lights while singing carols on a Wednesday night.  Shopping for one ornament with the whole family and making it an adventure that takes 2 hours, in which time you forget what you are there for because you are all caught up playing with the balls in the toy section.

The world keeps moving.  The circle gets smaller and more intimate.  Life is cozy, it has thinned out.  It is a more honest representation of our tribe.  Trust is built in the hard times as well as the good.

This season has been a myriad of joy.  Fun runs, turkey dinners, tree hunts, Santa breakfasts, tree trimming, watching daddy coach basketball games, present wrapping and Christmas book reading.  How can we only be 7 days until Christmas?

I stop………. I think.   I realize that we are now at 2  holidays in, only 16 left until they are no longer children.   I now that seems like a lot.  But it is not.  It took us 5 years to conceive, and that was a blink of an eye.

So, I am sorry, but I must decline.  I am not available, but for a very good reason.

Hey man, I am not a content whore.

If you are a blogger you know what that is – when someone has a recipe a day and you are all “holy cow, how do you do that?”.  Nope, I am a lil busy these days.  Also, I got a new hair color and this gives me all sorts of lenience’s.  Just saying.

As you can see,  I look wonderful.

As far as cooking my life has been in such an upturn of mommy, career and wifey-ness that I don’t even have time to exercise.  This is tough and my pants are tight.  But, I carry on.

Professionally I am doing great.  As a mom I am TRYING to do great.  As a wife I am failing but aren’t we all?  I wont even pretend that our romance is a flame that only the deepest sea could contain or dampen.  We are tired.  We are trying our best, and every day as a new parent feels like you have 2 left shoes on and are the new kid in town.  It is so hard, and yet the best thing you have going.  Jason, if you are reading this I PROMISE I won’t throw out the lingerie…..just give me a beat to feel sexy again….

We did make it to the coast though for a 36 hour twin free love fest.  You may think this means we dove sexily into the bed for 36 hours and only came up for wine and to feed each other grapes, but you would be wrong.  We slept.  Deep long sleep.  We walked…long long walk along the shore and talked.  We ate.   Okay, we may have scared the paint off the hotel walls a few times, but that is nunya biz

So, here we are, December.  I am frantically buying gifts, wrapping up another year professionally and my kids are almost 1 1/2 years old.  Time is flying, but I guess what the point of this post was, was to tell you that I am still here.  I am just in a new phase of my life.  A little busier and a little slower all at one time.