I just tweeted out the post I wrote in July. On that post I was exactly 20 days from my embryo transfer. Today I am also exactly 20 days from my transfer……It was odd to read how I felt because I feel totally different.
What I wrote at the end was “please remove the doubt that plagues me”. How interesting that I KNEW. I knew that something was off. I don't want to think back on it but I just wanted to say this:
It is different this time. I am going to be pregnant and it will be glorious. I feel like it isn't just me and my husband rooting for our success. I feel our community backing us up. I feel every person at Oregon Reproductive standing behind us with their arms crossed saying “THIS WILL HAPPEN”. I am starting to actually consider which bedroom to use for the children. Which to use as a bonus room…..considering fun carpet for the kids rooms….!!!
There is a point that you must go all in. My husband says that the way you are is a success is that you “Go All In”. He wears a necklace around his neck with our wedding date and the phrase “I'm all in” on it every day of his life. I gave it to him when we got married because when he told me he loved me he said he was “all in”. Funny how that applies now.
Guess what? I am ALL IN on this IVF. We are going to be successful. 20 days? No problem, we got this. We are all in baby…..ALL IN.