I have already seen it. People shake their head at me along the lines of “spoiled mommy” and even given me a look like “really?” when they find out we hired a nanny. I laugh. I laugh at it because they are clearly not twin parents. Yep, I said it. It is harder to have 2 infants than one. Also, those who shake their head generally “had to do it the hard way” Want to fight? Bring it…I am a gawd-damned terror in high heels these days.
When we started out on this foray we had multiple ideas of what we would do for child care. there are so many options and ways to go about it. Most of them are based on your income. What can you afford? What is the best you can get for your kids for those dollars? there is no wrong answer with childcare because you basically do what is best for your child that you can afford. We can afford a nanny.
Enter the Makis: We were not married until our late 30s. We then had a very hard time conceiving so by the time our bundles of joy arrived we were in our 40s. Your 40s are your “power decade”. You are at the pinnacle of your earning potential and have wonderful things like: Time in job (earning you extra time off and job security) You make more money. There, I said it. You make more money at 41 than you do at 21. You have equity. You have savings. You have a TON of credit. You have patience. You have already gotten the “crazy” out of your system (thanks to being child-free in my 20s). Granted there are downsides: We get tired quicker. Kids are a harder on your back (I have already strained my back) You will be an “older” parent. Funny thing with this last one is that I do not know many people having kids who are not over 33 so it isn’t even THAT much of a difference! People are simply having kids later.
So….here we are in the Nanny Zone. We have found someone who is in our home who feeds, holds, and plays with our children while we are at work. We decided this because we are busy and we don’t want our children to be overly inconvenienced – all it took was a few weeks of waking our slumbering babes at 6:15am to get dressed so they can go to daycare for 10 hours to realize that this was not for us. It was heart wrenching. Being able to feed them then let them loll around in their jammies with toys and each other until they are ready to get up and watch strawberry shortcake and eat some more was worth every penny. Do I still have a hard time with someone else caring for the kids. 100% yes. My kids cry and my soul is in shreds. Kills me.
This morning I am not working, but I needed to get some things done and to reset my brain after a really tough holiday season. The nanny is with the kids while I take a moment to myself. When I left, they were laying by the fire, my son holding my daughters hand and they were laughing at a plastic alligator they got for Christmas. I am guessing they will not notice I am gone for several hours.
Now, please don’t shake your head at me or call me spoiled. I went through a twin pregnancy at 41. I went through an emergency delivery and spent a month in NICU with my children. I am simply someone who understands that I am a better mother when I am balanced, healthy, and my tank has been refilled. I do not need “tough love” nor do my children, you see, I have earned the right for them to not have tough love. I waited until I could afford having children. We deserve the best life based on what we have worked hard for. Thank heavens I met a man who shares these ideas. I met a man who took paternity leave and can fully understand what caring for twins takes and every decision we make is with both of us having experienced the best and worst of being home full time with kids.
I guess I am writing this because on Monday I am 100% back to work. No more Wednesdays at home or half days. 2014 is when I am a full time professional with my children in the care of another person during the weekdays. It is ALSO the year that I reclaim my physical fitness and refocus on my marriage (all of you new parents know what I mean wink wink, nudge nudge). I suspect this will also be one of the best years of my life.
Sometimes you just want to put your thoughts down, unsolicited, on your blog. It clears things up in your mind. It is sort of like buying an ikea wall organizer….once it is up, you have NO CLUE how you lived without it before. Amazing how an Ikea reference can be used on pretty much any topic.
Okay – I promise to start talking about food again. Life has found its cadence for me and I am excited to focus on my tastebuds a little more. Next stop: The grocery store!