I am sorry, but I must decline.
I realized, around mid November that I was running. Not exercise, but running nonstop from one appointment to the next. I was so overextended and under-appreciating my riches. What is the point of a pocket full of cash if you did not gently lay your daughter into her crib at night? What is the point of media success if you haven’t read Brown Bear to your son? None. There is no point.
Where do you place value? Do you place it in financial gain? Perhaps in physical goals, such as weight loss and maintaining youth? Do you attend EVERY event you are invited to? These are questions that I put to myself and it really bothered me when I answered them (silently to myself). The painful truth was that I am not living life correctly. Let me amend that. I am not living my life correctly for me.
So, I decided to stay home. Go to work, but other than that, just be there. Be with my husband, be with my children. Not place ANYthing over the small amount of time that I have to see the holidays through their beautiful eyes. Through eyes that have no worries and are so full of trust. Allow the beauty a child’s realization of new concepts, words, situations to be my celebrations. Drive slowly through our neighborhood looking at holiday lights while singing carols on a Wednesday night. Shopping for one ornament with the whole family and making it an adventure that takes 2 hours, in which time you forget what you are there for because you are all caught up playing with the balls in the toy section.
The world keeps moving. The circle gets smaller and more intimate. Life is cozy, it has thinned out. It is a more honest representation of our tribe. Trust is built in the hard times as well as the good.
This season has been a myriad of joy. Fun runs, turkey dinners, tree hunts, Santa breakfasts, tree trimming, watching daddy coach basketball games, present wrapping and Christmas book reading. How can we only be 7 days until Christmas?
I stop………. I think. I realize that we are now at 2 holidays in, only 16 left until they are no longer children. I now that seems like a lot. But it is not. It took us 5 years to conceive, and that was a blink of an eye.
So, I am sorry, but I must decline. I am not available, but for a very good reason.