Yes, I am busy. I am embarrassed to even talk about the way my life has rolled into a wild ride of motherhood, marriage, career, radio, events and trying to find pockets of rest. The world as arrived at my doorstep and I am absolutely busy.
I wake up at 4am and do a “quick 1-2 hours of work” now. I am terrified of taking time from my kids. I am worried about not keeping up with my commitments to a career that I love and the employees who need me. I am nothing like who I thought I was. This is a good thing.
Do you think back about times in your life where your self worth was low? I do. I never went so far as to damage myself or my health (entirely) but I come from a somewhat lost generation. We never really learned how to love or give love in return. When we grew up, life and families had taken this intense pace. Latchkey kids, both parents working….climbing the ladder. It was the 80s and the 80s were a good time for career minded and educated people! Money was there to be had. Time to connect, not so much. I may have been one of the few kids who sat down to dinner several nights a week but I was on my own for breakfast and lunch since I was in 3rd grade.
So…you get through adolescence. You somehow find your way through your 20s. You fall in love in your 30s and start to make a life. By your 40s you are here. Busy, successful, and busy.
How do I fit 48 hours into 24 hours? I don't. I just don't. I set my own precedences as they arise and stay true to my foundation which is my home. I embrace mornings that I wake up at 4 ready to go, but I crash hard at 8:30 when the kids are down and the house is clean. I don't waste time on movies, and I make sure we gather at the table as much as possible. I laugh, I love. I stop and sit on the sofa and have time with my kids that has no hidden educational agenda. I hold them. I tell them they are awesome. I kiss their soft heads and laugh their toes and let them chew on my pearls. They are just pearls and I will have no need for them when I am gone. When THEY leave me though I will be left with my memories of them. Did I stop? Did I look at them? Did I tell them they have value? Did they see me smile at them with no hidden agenda? No concern?
What really matters? Keeping your love alive in your marriage so you can show your kids how to make it work. Kissing and hugging in front of them. Laughing together as a family. Making your life work for the family you are now. Are you showing and teaching your kids how to love? Showing them to gain strength through holding hands? Through talking and laughing? Complimenting each other and reminding each other of their worth and their value to the family.
So, I finally get a blog post up. It is not about food. There are no photos, but it is where I am in my mind. I am rich in love and successful in career. But really, the career stems from the love that fuels my heart that takes me through my days and helps me make ethical and smart decisions. It all starts here, at home.
I will not forget that.