I’ve changed. Get over it.

I just shook my head, looked up from my desk and said to myself:  I need air.  I stood up, put my earbuds in and started walking.  I walked a simple mile, through the city, around blocks, over an overpass and back.  I looked up.  I didn’t have a purse or wallet, just my music and me feet.  I thought…..Young Missy would never have done this.

Young Missy.  I actually said Young Missy.

I am back at my desk, pondering a pile of menus that need reviewing…..still trying to find the “sweetspot” for typing with my bifocals, and wishing only one thing.  Wishing that I could stand back up and go for another walk.  My thoughts were taking me to a place that I needed to go.  I was thinking about how much I have changed in the last decade.   Edges are softening and blurring in one area while senses and beliefs are becoming stronger and more acute in others.  This slow, gentle changeover is always in process, but you don’t notice until you have almost made a complete flip flop from your “younger me”.

I find myself apologizing for not being the same Young Missy.  Like I need to apologize for preferring rest, or the company of my children and husband.  I do.  I need rest, I need to see and feel my family on a daily basis.  I do want to drown in the loving environment of our welcoming home.  I don”t want to go out to the movies, I do want to go for a walk with my husband.  I don’t want to go out to dinner in the city, I do want to pick blackberries with my kids.  It is preferable, the walks, the berries, the time on the sofa swing.  So, get over it.

I am fortunate.  I want to be with my family.  I am in love with my husband.  I am the one who could give any of the other stuff up.  Because of this, because my work is not threat to my personal life, I excel in work.  I am able to place it where it belongs, come in and out of it.  While I may not be perfect, I would say I am better than many.

Just as I have learned that friends have seasons, some long, some short, some are surprising disappointments and some are just wonderful surprises that were always there, I learn that Missy has seasons.. I hope the season I am in now is the longest.  The one with few regrets, more forgiving of myself,  a lot more time holding hands and children, and a lot less time wasted.

I am a gentler, yet stronger.  I am playful, yet more thoughtful,  I am rooted, but growing daily.

I am rooted.  Rooted.  This is what Young Missy was never before.

I’ve changed.  Get over it.





Simple Kitchen 8-30-2015

Chef Sarah Schafer talks about Girls, Girls, Girls and Brunch Village. Missy wants to know what is going on with fairy houses. Chef Sarah loves working at FEAST  and seeing how other chefs work in the kitchen. Jess of Red Duck Ketchup talks Smoked on the phone/ Dan Shoemaker is providing some spirits for missy and James and FEAST and Smoked.

Christian Debenedetti is talking about Old Mcdonald Had a Brewery, farm house brewing and FEAST! Chef Ben Bettinger is talking Smoked! Kathy of USA Pears is talking Pop Up Kitchen and cooking with pears. Kathy also brought shrubs for Missy and James to try. Kathy has the best way to find the ripeness of your pears, and some great ways to cook and enjoy the beauty that is the pear.

Simple Kitchen 8-23-15 Hour 1

Missy and James are back. Mike Thelin, Co-Founder of FEAST sits in the Simple Kitchen with Missy to discuss the evolution of FEAST and all the things happening this year.

Why does Missy have an author of mystery novels in the Simple Kitchen? Because Ellie Alexander writes mystery novels set in the food world. Missy and James campaign to become new characters in Ellie’s next book. Missy is obsessed

Simple Kitchen 8-2-15

Missy catches you up with happenings around Portland and reviews Salt Dinner. Steven Shomler is back with his brand new book Portland Beer Stories. Sarah Pedersen Founder of Saraveza is featured in Steven’s book and tells her story.Dave Fleming Brewmaster at Kells Irish Pub is also featured in Steven’s book and he’s here to tell his tale.Jeff Parrish Founder of Portland Cider Co. is also a part of Portland Beer Stories.

More on Portland Beer Stories with Steven Shomler and beer truck driver Josh Huerta. Jake of Doomsday Brewing is here to talk about being in Portland Beer Stories.Frank Rinaldi with the Bite of Oregon talking about all things Bite of Oregon! PDX Sliders represents in the Simple Kitchen with Ryan Rollins.