My life has been in a constant whirl since I was young. I am constantly searching for the words to describe how I am feeling, to have people understand me. As a youth I acted one way and felt another. I look back and think of the years and opportunities and friendships that I squandered because my focus was put in the wrong area. I was trying to be something I am not. Trying to be loud, when I prefer the quiet. Trying to be the center of attention, when I truly like to listen to people talk. I love to her you talk. If you know me, I want you to know…..I like listening to you. Come over, sit on my sofa and talk. That is all I need from you as a friend. Tell me your story.
I have been overwhelmed with realizations of my own truths. My. Own. Truths. The beautiful imperfection of who I am. Each realization comes with such joy because I see how I can show my children that these qualities are okay. The world is working in harmony to show me the Truth of Me.
I don’t know much, but here is what I know for sure:
1. The body I have now is beautiful. I am perfect right now at this moment, for me. My husband loves and needs my softness, my children need my warmth and strength. This body is a work of art and I love it. It is not made for a magazine, it was made to be seen by my love, and to carry my children, and to wear the clothes that make me feel good, not what the magazine says I should wear.
2. My children are my swan song. There will be no greater accomplishment than my shepherding of their characters. My greatest gift to this world will be people who genuinely appreciate the life they have, and the world that surrounds them.
3. You must give. You must give. Even if all you have is time, you must give. There is a time you will need to take, and the world works in balance. Night and Day. Fire and Water. Give and Take. Balance your life accordingly, but always, always, tip your scale toward more on the giving side. You jut never know.
4. Admitting I am wrong was my single biggest growth. Knowing how to know I am wrong, be comfortable openly saying that I am wrong, laughing at myself, and moving on has made me infinitely more lovable.
5. People are jealous. Some more than others. Surround yourself with people who see you for you.
6. Aging gracefully is hard. As a woman we see our looks start to fade, and it is hard to absorb. I have committed to myself to aging gracefully, but it requires a lot of self love. I am struggling.
7. My home is important to me. Building a place of safety that does not change is important. My kids, at 2, say “my house” when we drive up to the house and point to photos on the wall and say “family”. Creating a sprawling, big, comfortable home that is warm and has photos of everyone and is bursting with memories…… That matters. Home matters. You are safe there, you can cry there, you can laugh there, you can drink too much wine there. You. Are. Safe.
So, come on over, to my home. It is comfortable, warm, inviting. Sit on my sofa, have some wine, and tell me your story. I like to listen to you. That is what I know for sure.